Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Congratulations! We have a period
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
