I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
