Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
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