Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
a search helicopter?!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
