just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
