never play flip cup with pint glasses
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
