I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
