We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
