Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She announced her abortion via fbk
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
