Porn is love you can see.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
