It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
