I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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