um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
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