Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
