im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
