Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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