She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
