babies were throwing up all over the place
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Im part way to drunk.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize