I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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