oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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