Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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