this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
