Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
