He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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