I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize