Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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