Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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