Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
