Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
