I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
