i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
