Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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