No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
