super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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