All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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