At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
