Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
