So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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