i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
