he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize