eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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