I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
