How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
