she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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