I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
