I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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