yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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