What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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