2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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