Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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