Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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