I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
