Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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