it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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