like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
