forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Did I show you my penis last night?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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