I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
