I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
