Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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