My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
