i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
