And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
