i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
