he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
