Kiss
Puke
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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