Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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