I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize