About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
