I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
