i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
