My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
