Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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